Last night when I went to dress the Deities in Their night outfits I was surprisingly greeting by the 2 sweet smiling sila forms of Sri Giriraja and Srimati Radha. Thanks to HH Bir Krsna Maharaja for bringing Them here, and thanks to Their Lordships for having Maharja bring You here so we can serve You :)
Just some other random thoughts. The other day I woke up feeling sick and weak with no appetite. I rested in bed all day and it was really a blessing to be able to hear, really hear all day bhajans and classes as I was in such a quiet restful mood, not sleeping just restful. My body and mind were so quiet so I could really hear. Very purifying and great opportunity. I thought how nice it would be to do at least once a week, but unless sick I'm afraid my mind (or husband :) would accuse me of being lazy and to 'get into action' as of course there is always something to clean or do around the house!
Initially I tried to go to our temple room and I managed to chant 1 round before feeling weak and nauseous and the need to go back to my room and rest.
Around 5Pm I was feeling a little better so thought we should go outside for some warm air and sunshine as it was a very beautiful day outside. Lakshmi was pretty much resting with me all day and Vrndavan, although not feeling as weak as us, was in the room with his books hearing all the nectar as well so they were also happy to get out.
So we head outside to sit in the sun as I realize I still have at least 15 rounds to chant. Normally beginning to chant that many rounds in that later part of the day might be a big burden & chore! I was amazingly surprised that it was really good as I got into it and actually really relished the holy names. I notice that if I don't really have a deep taste for the holy names I might chant on my porch and try not to let the neighbors notice so much as they might think I am crazy talking to myself. This time was different. I was out in the middle of the yard sitting with my eyes closed and I was relishing it so much I was hoping a neighbor would see and ask me what I was doing so I could have the opportunity to share the glories of the holy name as I was personally realizing a drop of the glories of Naam then and there.
I realized also the potency of fasting. That whole day I didn't eat a thing. With my high vata I am usually not very good at fasting. I get very weak, shaky and very irritable, especially when having to perform many activities. Ths day my mind felt so clean and clear and peaceful from hearing and fasting all day. I was so grateful for the opportunity and realizations and thought how wonderful if every Ekadashi could be spent in this way.
